Life Topics

90’s Hip Hop Themes

Fotolia_91225581_LI came to get down
I came to get my groove on
I came to show you who I am
I came to get down.

I’m comin’, I’m coming down
Check Yourself before you wreck yourself.
You need to look at yourself, check yourself.
Don’t wreck yourself.

Living’ in the lap of luxury.
I got mad love to give,
I got mad love to give.
I took one look at you
and you are my destiny
Dedicate my life to you.

What’s the difference between me and you?
Life and luxury, livin’ lap of luxury,
all I need to get by.

You’re all I need.

Life Topics

Happy Train

b3So, here we are the day after Thanksgiving with a turkey hangover and a few extra pounds.  It seems like the holiday season is already moving forward with the force of a train roaring out of the station.  The traffic today on the way to the gym, which I haven’t visited in months, sent me looking for alternative routes, which got me thinking.  Is fighting for 50% off worth the stress and aggravation?

I could shop online in the comfort of my own home.  But, my question is bigger than that.  Do I really want to shop at all?   I want to celebrate Christmas on my own terms.  My grown children will receive a small token of cash and maybe a sweater.  I will get my parents something they don’t need, that will be tasteful and appreciated.  As I don’t have any young children, there is no more toy shopping in my life, or getting up at the crack of dawn on the 25th.  I have to truthfully say I do miss that a little.

I mailed my Christmas cards this morning and am feeling an inkling of holiday spirit.  I hope it grows over the next few weeks.  But, I know it won’t be long before I get sick of the commercials.  You know the ones, where the doting husband gives his wife a new car with a big bow on top, as she discovers it in the snow-covered driveway.  Who does that?   I’m optimistic that through cards, actions and well wishes I can give friends and family the best of myself, not only during the holidays, but all year long.  That’s the true spirit of life.

Make the lists you need to get through.  Shop if it pleases you.  Get on your happy train and ride it with zeal.  I just choose to take it slow, feel a smooth ride with solid tracks underneath.  I won’t let the commercialism get me down, they’re just annoying stops on the journey.

Pull into the station, dust yourself off and feel the excitement of your destination. You’ve made it here on your own terms.

Next stop –  New Year!

Life Topics

There’s Nothing You Can’t Do

blue_tenticlesThere’s nothing you can’t do.
Count on one hand your failures.
Look at the face of progress, it
can be both black and white.
Don’t swallow the icy fate of

Falling down can’t defeat you.
Seeds spend their life in dark
until the sun brings growth.
Put a bandaid on the stinging cut.
Watch the scab fade into a
different skin color.
A new beginning.

Gulp from the cup that holds
both your fears and gifts.
They are both means of survival.  Stay
sane you tell yourself.  Say I’m sorry
only to those who matter.
Don’t give away yourself, you are
a mystery and a force,
to be understood and loved.

Build this one life with a mix of strength
and the power of a beautiful dusk.
Do not weep for what you do not have.
Grab and hold tight what you can give
to yourself and others; especially others.
Wipe the crumbs from your lips, and
speak the truth to yourself.

Life Topics

Just a Dream

hand drawn, vector, sketch illustration of hockey stick

She came to me in my dreams last night, but did not speak a word.  She sat in a chair, wearing a red hat over her short gray crop, and donning  a colorful blouse.  It was an unusual outfit for her I remember thinking, as she was partial to neutral and charcoal tones.   Nana was as quiet in the dream as she was in life, but always an important presence.  I remember wondering why she didn’t speak to me.   I have missed her so, since she passed.  So much was going on around us, and yet she just looked at me.  Didn’t she miss me enough to talk to me?

It was like a Halloween party with everyone in costume; neighbors, a high school friend who I haven’t thought about in years, and children.  They were all swirling around me in a dance of celebration, while Nana sat in the middle and just watched; especially me.  Little Lilly took a picture of me with her father’s cell phone, just before he snatched it away from her.  She ran off giggling like she won a prize.  Her mother was walking around in costume holding Lilly’s little brother.  She was dressed in a schoolmarm outfit, almost marching to an invisible beat.  Many of the celebrants were riding dogs like they were horses, forming a line and riding down a long narrow street.   I had been riding a stong and beautiful golden lab, as I sped to the front of the parade to catch up with someone or something.  I don’t really remember.

Next, I was back at an old antebellum house to change out of my costume and came across some of my brother’s friends.  They were in an attic room playing poker, and trading baseball cards.   I stopped to talk to them, but they looked up and shook their heads no, as if to say, “You don’t belong here.”
“I demand to be here”, I reluctantly said, in almost a whisper, knowing they wouldn’t let me stay.  One of them, Bobby, got up and handed me a hockey stick and said that if I wanted to stay, that I’d have to bring them a head of lettuce and a Mickey Mantle Rookie card. “ I will not bring the card” I said,
“it is too important for me to part with, besides, Neil has that card.  You can get it from him!”
Neil got up, went to his closet and got out 5 Mickey Mantle Rookie cards,  put them on the table and lit them on fire.  I turned away to go to go to the kitchen to get the lettuce.

When I got to the kitchen, Nana was at the counter chopping lettuce.

Life Topics

The Black Skirt


I took the black skirt out of the closet and chose a white sweater to wear with it.  It looked like I could have been going to a job at a restaurant, but I wasn’t.  Today is Jeff’s funeral.

I didn’t want to wear black today, not today.  It was a symbol that I accepted the loss.  I didn’t want to believe that he was truly gone.  As I put on the skirt, I thought of all the other times I had worn it to parties, to work, to events, paired with a shimmering top or a simple t-shirt.  I wore this skirt in happiness and expectation.  Now it was paired with grief, the kind that lingers and transforms into a deep hurt for all who knew him.  I felt the blackness of sorrow for his other friends, his children and his parents.

Zipping up the skirt, I knew that I had to grab my black shoes before leaving.  My everyday shoes,  that I never thought much about.  They are comfortable and dependable.  I’ll be standing for the service, standing outside the church, inside the church, whispering “I’m sorry” a hundred times, wishing we didn’t have to be here.  Shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other, I watch the mourners, sleep deprived and aching to go back in time; to see him one more time.

After services, I get back home to remove the skirt and put on some jeans.  I will wear this skirt again, but hopefully not to say goodbye to a friend.