Life Topics

Thoughts on Grief

I’m told it’s something you never get over.  I’ve relied on advice, webinars, articles, and common knowledge to cope.  Friends have been supportive through hugs and coffee.  Daydreams come mostly at night when I’m alone.  Still, the waves of sorrow are following me around like a hungry stray dog.  Just when I think that I’ve come to terms with what happened, I hear that song or see a Christmas gift he would have loved.  Cue the tears.

Grief, I recently read, is love with no place to go.  So, will that love magically get transferred or dissipate into thin air?  Must I carry this “burden” of unanswered love forever?  I will truly love him forever no doubt.  The only thing I have left, as cliché as it sounds, is to hold dear the nuance of him; the memories.  I’ll funnel that love and grief into his legacy.  Cry loving tears that swell your eyes and stain your face.  Catch your breath and remember his jokes, his wit and kindness.  You might even have a good laugh as time goes on.  Above all, be kind to yourself because there’s no clock that tells you when to stop grieving.

Loss is something everyone goes through.  Some handle it better than others or appear to.  I should get over it, right?  I’ll never get over it.  Grief doesn’t work like that.  It’s an unending reminder that weaves its way into your daily life.  How you manage that love-with-no-place-to-go is up to each individual.   Unfortunately, life doesn’t teach or prepare you how to carry on.  Just accept and feel the intermittent pain that pulses through your body like the very blood you need to live.  It is now part of your life.


Author: Jo Toale

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