My attention span is short at best. Like a dog, if I see a squirrel, I immediately divert my energy. I find myself scrolling through Facebook and all the “squirrels” have me bouncing around. I’m noticing that I get caught up in all kinds of nonsense. I can pass by the pleasantries and the sappy, yet poignant posts, the quotes and life lessons with an occasional share. I’m not that insightful really. Why not share something I never would have posted myself, like children are a treasure, believe in yourself, live in the moment, etc.? Instead, where do I usually go? To the visual pitfalls of lazy curiosities.
Don’t show me a recipe video or I’ll be hooked from start to finish, deciding if it’s too trailer trash to make. Well, if the main ingredient is tatter tots and cheese it might spike my interest. How easy, I could make that. Could I really serve it? Probably not, but I have to see it to the end. There might be an all-important secret to this delightful dish, as only I could master. As it builds, adding more and more ingredients, I start shifting and make a mental note of the full list of items added. Way too much work. Plus, I have to remember that I don’t really like cooking. I like to eat.
Next.
Oh, there’s a video showing someone fold napkins 200 different ways. Perfect, I need to see that. A swan and a flower, who knew? Beautifully printed fabric napkins were used to create an amazing table to impress the most discerning guest. If I practiced, I might be able to pull off a swan, I think to myself. I was looking for the easiest elegant one to try. Then I remembered that my paper napkins are always an afterthought thrown on the table at the last minute. No heavy lifting there.
Next.
Hey, a video of someone refinishing a piece of furniture. Need to get a refresher in this skill. I’ve refinished items in the past, but it wouldn’t hurt to get more tips. I like how they speed up sections of the tutorial which makes it seem less arduous, but I know the truth. You need a lot of patience to undertake these kinds of projects. And even more patience to stay interested from start to finish. When they put on an ugly piece of hardware or stain, I’m out. The final product is something I wouldn’t put in my house. And, if I did display it, I’d have to consider refinishing it. Here we go again.
Next.
A one-of-a-kind cleaning product. Yes, interested! Show me how this works. Spray on any surface, and voila, like new. No scrubbing. I like that. It cleans toilets, pots and pans, sneakers, sinks and furniture. It’s a miracle, tell me more. Maybe it could be a dessert topping too, like shown on Saturday night live. I wouldn’t be surprised. Heartfelt testimonials follow, showing an undying commitment to the product. They seem so happy and complete with this find. And as luck would have, it’s on sale. Easy payments. I almost push the button when I realize I don’t clean. We have a cleaning woman, so we just mindlessly write a check.
Next.
Scrolling, scrolling, hmmmm. I’m only seeing birthday and news posts. No videos I can get into at the moment. Where are the infomercials on building a tree house, 100 ways to braid your hair, or how to remove disgusting black heads? I feel like there’s nothing left for me to watch today. I’m tapped out. Maybe it’s time to put the phone down.
Ooooh a squirrel!
