Tag: writing

Life Topics

I Must Sing

Jo McLaughlin

The blank page is intimidating.  The hollow compliment is confusing.  The echo of doubt is disturbing. How can we follow a path with obstacles or contempt?  Jealousy, ego and loathing can block good intentions.  Mindfulness is the foundation that propels us.   Picture it, and it will become.  Outside voices are unnecessary, both good and bad.  Go forward with guts and ignorance as your tools, not really knowing it can be done.  Just believe fully with the heart of an innocent, and the strength of a bull.

I want to be a writer.  I ask myself, “Why do I think I can do that?”  Well, I have feelings, I have words, I have paper and I have passion.  All necessary ingredients of a storyteller.  Once upon a time, there was a girl who had her head in the clouds wanting to bring others along, describing a magical place, a place you want to go.   My intense desire for people to smell, taste and feel what’s inside of me, comes out in the dark hours at my keyboard.   Solitary hours, building prose that will hopefully relate to the reader.  The sweet fragrance of an observer’s approval and acceptance; even occasional praise.  But I’m not in it for a compliment.  Thank you.

My imagination is fleeting from one situation to another.  My attention span has never been solid.  However, looking at my surroundings brings music, and I must sing.  I have always seen things below the surface.  The winter sky or the mysteries of a frozen lake.  Have you really looked at the winter sky with the shining stars you can almost touch?  Allow yourself to be enticed by a world of words, a place that I want to bring alive.  Please come along with me.

The energy is exuding from my mind to my fingertips.  I focus on the obvious in a way that hopefully makes you really see it.  Reach down inside yourself and spill your experience into your own words.  “I get that…I’ve been there” you may say.  And that is what brings us together.  A common feeling that we may not have known how to describe.  I want to do that for you, do it for us.

I am an untuned instrument trying to make a sweet sound, dreaming, creating, and describing.  My words are not profound.  My thoughts are not prophetic.  I just want to create a place for conversation.  This blog will be my outlet for now, where you can visit as often as you like. A place to share a cup of coffee and read about your own life through another’s eyes. Writer or not, I have a lot to say.  So, join me on my journey because a story isn’t just a story it can be a place called home.

Life Topics

Just Words

Jo McLaughlin

My whole life I wanted to be a writer, not a ballerina, teacher or nurse, not even a Mommy, just a writer.  To be capable at an art form that can releases myself from myself.  However, it can be difficult task.  Putting the right words and thoughts together sometimes feels like climbing a mountain.  You start with focused intention and gather sentences that will make sense, scaling up to the audience to reach the peak.  It’s labor intensive and mentally coarse, as you reach deep inside yourself.  Writing, editing and re-writing is an exhaustive effort that you hope will results in something readers can enjoy and relate to.  Writers should raise us up, stories should connect us.

Sharing my life through words brings me happiness.  Although I’m not a professional writer, I do throw myself wholeheartedly into my passion.  The exercise helps me understand myself better while opening windows into other lives.  And, like any artist, I want to express myself to get a genuine message out.  It’s like standing naked in the town square when you finish a piece of work, exposing your inner thoughts and desires for all to judge.  You should be comfortable in your own skin.  Through my creation of authentic stories, I hope to be an instrument to start discussions or to just share basic emotions.

When I was little, I’d create little, short stories and draw pictures.  I didn’t do it a lot, but when I did, I was totally enthralled.  I think I liked doing the pictures best.  Reading wasn’t a big thing in my house, so I didn’t grow up with any literary influences. It wasn’t until my 20s when I became a conscientious reader, and then my world opened up.   I started out devouring novels but would end up falling in love with the authors, the amazing craftsmen.  I’d ask myself, “how did they put this awesome book together?”  The descriptive prose flowed from the pages directly into me.  The combination of kind, bold or even gentle words was totally fascinating.  I knew that I wanted to do that.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get to a level of excellence, but I remain quietly confident.  I like to hear myself think.  To aptly capture a true moment or situation is all I can do to fulfill my simple dream.  A book might be a worthy goal in the future.  I don’t really know.  I’ll keep practicing in order to comfort myself, and to grow as a competent storyteller.  I am always humbled when readers like my words, giving me their valuable time and attention.  It means so much to me.  And so, through my streaming insight and solid commitment, I will keep writing until I run out of words. And if you know me, you know that will never happen.

Life Topics

A Fabulous Retirement

Jo McLaughlin

I dream about retirement these days like a dog dreams about a bone.  That blessed and well-deserved day when I get to call it quits.  I imagine the leadup to “o-dark-thirty” may be stressful trying to wrap everything up for the next sap, I mean person, who takes over my job.  My boss will say, “Jo, make sure he/she is well trained…and will you be available if we have any questions?”  I’ll be like, “absolutely, and I will be around if you need anything”.  Right.  Of course, I would never leave anyone high and dry, but already my priorities have changed.  Sometimes learning OTJ is the best way.  I’d be doing them a favor if I was unavailable.  Baptism by fire and all that.  When I’ve finally fulfilled my parting duties, there’ll be no more looking at the clock, no meetings, no deadlines, no projects, no managing people and no boss.  A blissful life full of nos.  But even more so, a presence full of yes’, for anything I want to do if it’s within my newly fixed income.

I’m not what you would call a “planner.” So I may be in a bit of a financial crunch when I stop taking in my lucrative Public Access pay.  I could learn to live meagerly if I had to.  Coupons and day-old bread could be adopted into my routine.  On the bright side though, I’ll be rich with time and an overactive imagination.  Think of the possibilities!   Lunch with friends, reading novels, showering daily, writing stories, walking the dog, sitting in the sun, doing light chores, getting a haircut, maybe do artwork, plan get togethers and floss my teeth.  And, if I get even the slightest bit bored, especially with the personal hygiene, I can get a little part-time job for some pocket change and mental rescue.  As long as the job’s hours are short and flexible with an obscenely high pay rate.  I most definitely plan to live a dilettante life.

Who do I want to be when I’m done being a grown up; fabulous, absolutely fabulous.  My life of leisure will be outrageously delicious.  I will amusingly pretend to forget what day it is saying, “is it a weekday, or weekend day?” I’ll laugh as I say this, feeling clever and witty; feigning confusion.  I’ll be old enough to be excused for being obnoxious.  The only people who would take offense would be those who begrudgingly must work the next day.  Pontoon boat rides in the summer will be a daily activity, staying out late, as there are no more “school nights” to worry about.  Young people may seek my worldly, yet practicle, advice on everything from boiling an egg to changing their motor oil.  I’ll arrogantly think I have it all together, or maybe just bluff, like only a seasoned retiree can do.

I’ll have to wait a while to become that eccentric, retired old lady.  There is still a whole decade before I start to live this fanciful existence.  In the meantime, I’ll practice saying “get off my lawn!” and “God love ya’”.  There’s time enough now to start my retirement hobbies on the weekends to prepare the future.  As far as my job, I really like it and have little to nothing to complain about.  It has served me well.  My mid-life has had no crisis and is mostly unremarkable.  My fifties have been a training ground of fetching rocks and putting out fires, teaching me how to be a stronger woman. All these experiences have helped create a solid gateway to my next phase.  Afterall, a fabulous life must be built, it doesn’t magically happen one day.

Life Topics

What I Know

Jo McLaughlin

They say write about what you know.  I don’t know what I know.  I guess I can do laundry, fly an excel sheet, take care of a dog, raise two children, chew gum and walk, give up smoking, take up vaping, kill a bottle of wine, knit a sweater, take out the trash (if I have to), almost balance a check book, recite lines from a movie, walk like a chicken, sing badly, play solitaire, half read a book, edit video, send an email and attempt to “dress for success” (not usually done well).  Are any of these things worth writing about?

Instead, I sit at the keyboard trying to dream up an interesting topic.  Find one thing that makes you want to keep reading.  Are you still with me?  Good.  I’ll take baby steps to figure out where I’m going with this.  Kick around a few ideas.  Do you want to see me walk like a chicken?  Probably not.  Can I interest you in a spreadsheet demo?  No.  Maybe some dog tricks?  I’m at a loss, as I fidget and scratch my back with a pencil, wondering what to put on this blank screen.

Here I sit in the glow of the computer.  The 11 o’clock news is on in the background, with the dramatic music to make everything seem urgent.  The dog lies at my feet, breathing heavy, ready for bed.  My laundry basket sits in a dim corner of the bathroom, overflowing with a hint of yesterday’s odors.  I take deep drags from the vape blowing out stress and anxiety, thinking about what needs to be done tomorrow.  I know, I’ll make a list, YES a list!

Not like a “bucket list”, but much simpler.  You know, take notice of how I do things, and try not to do them anymore.  Live in the moment as they say.  Do all the usual stuff, but do it differently, better.  I will think of it as a “don’t” list.

Here goes:

  1. Wake up and don’t dread the morning.
  2. Take a shower and don’t curse your body in the mirror.
  3. Have breakfast, and don’t forget the medication.
  4. Go to mass and don’t fall asleep during the sermon.
  5. Say “I love you” and don’t just walk away, hold his eyes.
  6. Walk the dog and don’t forget the poop bag.
  7. Do the laundry and don’t leave a load in the dryer to pick thru all week.
  8. Call your parents and don’t cry when you hang up because they are so old.
  9. Text your sons just because and don’t forget the little hearts after you say ILY.
  10. Watch a documentary and don’t judge the hoarder, the family or the victim.
  11. Talk to the neighbor and don’t just give a small wave.
  12. Eat the ice cream and don’t feel guilty.
  13. Knit that sweater you’ve been working on for 2 years, and don’t get discouraged.
  14. Work on the computer and don’t lose track of precious time you could have with Jamie.
  15. Say your prayers and don’t leave anyone out.

My eyes are drooping so I have to go to bed now.  This life of mine, like most, is made up of small pieces that have made me the person I have become.  Sure, I can walk like a chicken and work a spreadsheet, but how can I be a better friend, daughter, Mom?  More important questions.  Will people think of me as negative if I feel guilty about the ice cream or too busy to talk to a neighbor, or have a bad body image?  Maybe they won’t even notice.

I finally know that I have to work my “list” in a positive, thoughtful way to make my journey one of love, generosity and faith.

“Time for bed McDermott.  Do you want a treat?”